Sex, sales and rock and roll
Big news this week, songbird Mariah Carey scored her record shattering 18th number one Billboard hit with the first single from her new album E=MC2. She is the only woman artist to do this in music history and has now officially beat Elvis Presley as the all time hit factory. Her latest success stems from the single "Touch my body" and the video that comes with. In the Touch my body video she is seen romping around some gigantic mansion with Kenneth the nerdy page from 30 Rock, during all the romping she is wearing many short, snug and revealing outfits. I have to say that I think the song is just okay, I give it a 6 or 7 out of 10 but Mariah's new video and overall style I give an 11. I believe I have discovered a trend, you see sales of CDs are in the dumper and big names must ramp-up the sex appeal to move units. This is a trend most young men can get behind, Ms. Carey sings in a teddy bear nighty and instantly goes platinum. I call this idea sexnomics (bear with me it will catch on), as a now mediocre artist in mediocre times drastic measures are needed and more skin must be shown!
In decades past the music and music video industries have heaped on the sex to sell albums and it has always paid off but now I fear we are trading sex for substance. New groups such as The Pussycat Dolls and Danity Kane offer an avalanche of delicious eye candy but some serious crap music...name one Pussycat Doll song..go ahead...I'll wait. I absolutely defy you to name a Danity Kane song. Don't worry about it nobody can...I can name the attractive dark-skinned lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls but not one of their songs. Sexnomics is an instant goldmine, but not one to last for the ages. These beautiful young ladies may be able to sing somewhat and dance all sexy-like but no one will recall any of this in 5 years. This is a new era, the era of the music star with an expiration date. Gone are the days of old, gone are the times of music legends. Now we have Carrie Underwood and Jordin sparks, both very cute, both very forgettable.
Back to Mariah Carey, a few years back she suffered some minor setbacks: an album that sold poorly, a movie that bombed and some sort of mild psychological schism. She took some prescribed time off, started working out again and made a comeback, complete with boring songs and hot new outfits. I personally believe that Ms. Carey is ridiculously talented and in days gone by has recorded many amazing and heartfelt songs (download "Breakdown" with Bone Thugs 'n' Harmony) but she seems to think that now is the time to simply "phone it in" and wear more underwear. I think this is just a lowdown sexy shame. She seems to be trying very hard to become the next Jessica Simpson (name one of her hits...go on...) and it is just super hot and terrible.
Sexnomics is the new law, get used to it. Get used to an army of pretty, pretty vacant stars of both genders. Prepare your eyes and ears for more American Idols, more of P.Diddy's making the band, more Britney wannabes and more Hannah Montanas. Hannah, I hope you opened a savings account 'cuz sweetheart, the clock is ticking. One last thing, I await the J.Lo comeback with a whole new batch of crap songs and tiny clothes with an total open mind. This one I totally get...
Sexnomics receives five downloadable boners out of a possible five.