Whiskey Tango "Foxtrot"???
Super Bowl whatever number is this Sunday. The New York Giants will face the New England Patriots (who apparently by their name represent all of New England rather then a specific town). I personally will be watching the game for the commercials, I could not care less who wins. In honor of the Super Bowl I would like to make an observation, something that has been seen a million times, something that has been done over and over to exhaustion, the bloody touchdown dance.
Look, I understand, after barreling your way through 300+ pound testosterone drenched, muscle framed, sweaty freaks even I would be a little excited to have reached the end of the field knowing that the brutal pounding I was just subjected to was finally over and I was only one locker room away from a fresh pair of undies. I might spike the ball or point up into the crowd, or possibly and more likely scream and cry like a girl, professing to the world how I was gonna live my life different now that I survived a gauntlet of brutality, but that would be about the extent of it. The fact of the matter is, these dudes are being paid to score touchdowns, it’s their job, and if they don’t do their job, like any other person not performing well they will be “traded” (which is a fancy sports word for “you haven’t been attaching the new cover sheets to your TPS reports, so we’re sending you to another town to live and you get to play on their even crappier team, don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out”). If I have lost you by this point here is an example of what I am talking about:
Kelly Washington has just scored six points, six whole points. I don’t remember seeing Andre Agassi or John McEnroe do a dance like that after scoring while playing tennis, and they score 15 points each time they make a good shot (well until the score a third time and then they only score ten… but that’s a different rant waiting to be written). Another thing, Soccer players like Brandi Chastain tearing her shirt off after winning the 1999 Women’s World Cup! I... well... On second though, I’m cool with that, in fact, let’s see it again:
Now I am a Graphic Designer and Web Page developer by trade. I make graphics, it’s what I am paid to do and I like getting the opportunity to work for people and make their companies visions become a reality. I am just as committed and determined to get to the “goal line” and do my job to the best of my ability. The difference is I don’t go into final creative briefs and jump up on the table, waving my arms like a chicken, pump my fist, prance around on my toes and twist and twirl when the client tells me they like what I did. SubBear who you know from the site does home improvements for a living, he doesn’t dance and sing when he pounds a nail in straight! Hobart is in real estate, when he closes a deal he doesn’t start headbutting and smacking the asses of all the people in his office when he closes a deal… actually now that I think about it he does do that, however he does it with some dignity and class.
Yes, it is good to be happy when you do a good job. Yes football players SHOULD strive to be the best and do their job to the best of their ability, but so far Emit Smith is the ONLY player to prove he is also light enough on his feet to win a celebrity dance off, and as far as I am concerned, it should stay that way!
Official ITD Rant Rating: 5 dirty jock straps out of 5