Miley Cyrus, Thanks for the Memoirs
No, this is not a joke. According to US Magazine, the 15 year old just inked a seven figure deal with Disney to write her memoirs. Now I don’t have anything against Miley, honest I don’t, but I just have to say something about this. You see, I have heard her sing, I have seen her perform, and the only thing she REALLY has going for her is a famous father. If she was to audition to get on American Idol, Randy would think she was a little pitchy and tell her to come back next year, Paula would love her and say yes and Simon would fire off some comment about how listening to her sing was the equivalent of getting a Colonoscopy while reading a poorly written memoir and she would go home.
I would have been happy to write her memoirs for her, and Disney can pay me 10% of what they are going to pay her. Let me take a shot at it.
“Hello, my name is Miley Cyrus; my father Billy Ray became famous when his song “Achy Breaky Heart” hit number 1 in 1992. I was born the next year. My father became a multi-millionaire and used his connections to help me become famous. My mom is awesome too. The End.”
The potential of another Britney rising like a Phoenix from the ashes of child stardom are causing the tabloid writers and paparazzi to foam at the mouth with delight and anticipation. Only time will tell if she can side step the landmine of sexual depravity and drug abuse that we are all so used to seeing from these girls, her bra and panties pictures from her my space page may be all the foreshadowing we need.
Official ITD Rating: One exploited teenage girl out of billions