Obama or Clinton, Whooptady-DOO!
So this is it, the day has finally arrived, PENNSYLVANIA’S PRIMARY!!! Watching the wind up has been the equivalent of a dry hole enema, yes, I went there. Where things get funny however, is that after all the accusations, all the attacks, and the millions of dollars spent to tear the other candidate to shreds, Hillary had the balls to say this yesterday, “I think this is on balance a pretty civil and positive campaign compared to many we have seen in the last years…” Yeah, civil enough for Michael Moore to come out from under his sandwich and write a letter telling Hillary what a shit she’s being. Positive enough for the Democratic party to openly denounce BOTH of their behavior. Balanced enough… wait, maybe by balanced she means that they have both slung so much mud at each other we can’t allow ourselves to have faith in either of them. McCain has done the best thing he can possibly do, sit back, keep his mouth shut, his head low, and let the fireworks of this family feud light and set themselves off. Every single time Obama or Clinton opens their mouths they stuff the ammo racks of the McCain campaign with all the information they need. Can you imagine how much money is being saved in researching what skeletons are in whose closet that can now be shoved into television commercials telling us how the Democrats are Satan’s spawn?
History is going to be made no matter what happens. The first black man or the first woman in the history of our white male, er, GREAT nation will be battling it out against the other candidate who just so happens to be a white man. I admit, I must give kudos to the Republicans for sticking with an “if it isn’t broke don’t fix it” philosophy. McCain represents all that is old, crusty and white in our great nation. What’s all this “powered by hope…I’m asking you to believe” crap that keeps showing up on Obama’s website, or Hillary’s “If you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen…I’m way more experienced” garbage… NO, McCain is older then both of you put together, which means he is WAY more experienced AND he believed with all the hope he could muster while he was a P.O.W. I have seen Rambo, I know what goes on in those P.O.W. camps! He was dipped in pig feces full of massive leeches and strapped to an electrified wire mattress frame while they were heating up his knife so they could cut his face up! Don’t give me this “we need to have hope” garbage Obama, don’t tell me you have more experience Hillary, McCain was in the trenches fighting the heathens living the dream while you two were still a twinkle in your father’s pants!!! /endRant
Does it really matter in the end who wins Pennsylvania? Yes, it does. Why? Because Obama is a lot more fun to spell then Clinton. Obama just BEGS to be typed out as Obamamamamama. Clinton is just so… well, Clintononononon is simply not as funny.
Official ITD Rating: Intentionally Left Blank